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The Child Inside
Between the noise and silence
And the whispers in my head,
There's a place of peace, serenity,
Or so I've heard it said.
And so, I lay awake through twilight,
Searching for this place.
I pass forgotten memories.
I run from their embrace.
And then I see, so far from me
A child, hidden by dread.
So tattered, tortured, pale as death,
She lifted up her head.
The horror then, that filled me,
I fled through air and skies.
That apparition, silent, still,
Filled me with her cries.
Her eyes sewn shut, her flesh was torn,
I felt her fear, her shame.
Lost inside my memories,
Her heart filled up with blame.
I stopped there in that darkness.
Couldn't take another step.
I turned around; my pain, it grew
I crawled, I bled, I wept.
Remembering the heart of me,
The babe I left to die!
Against my fear, I clawed and pulled
'Till, at last, I fell there, by her side.
And then I saw her scars were mine.
Still fresh and raw and bare.
No healing hand to comfort her
No love, no light, no care.
I'd run so long from memories.
Stone walls, built in my mind.
And in my haste, I realized.
I'd left myself behind.
Softly then, I sang to her
The lullabies we knew.
Washing out the anguish
That festered in her wounds.
A lifetime, though, it seemed to me
I sang there, in the night.
Each melody, a memory,
Removed a stitch, returned her sight.
Then all at once, the light rained in!
The darkness, pushed aside.
And all revealed, the peace I sought?
It was her, the child inside!
I begged for her forgiveness
She clung to me, so tight
Our eyes they met, filled with regret
But then, oh then, we both took flight!
And all the pain that once I knew;
The wounds that wouldn't heal;
Buried alive, within that child,
All the hurt I feared to feel.
But strong and whole, I face the day
No shame or tears to hide.
For she, now free, the heart of me
She lives, again! The child inside!
--Isabeau Andreas © 2015
--Isabeau Andreas © 2015
Magic
There is magic, deep inside of you,
Stop casting her aside!
She's there in every heartbeat.
She knows how hard you've tried!
You'll always have those moments
When you're engulfed in fear.
Just hold on, now, my darling!
Just stop and wait, my dear!
For, if you keep on running
This moment cannot pass.
Turn and face your tragedy!
This moment will not last.
The sun will rise, the dawn will break,
Don't run, don't waste your breath!
Turn and face your every fear
Until there's nothing left!
Embrace the light within you!
The magic beating on!
With every breath she'll be there,
And she'll guide you to the dawn.
Copyright ©2018 Isabeau Andre
When all the Lights Went Out.
I wrote this two weeks after I put a bullet in my chest, in an attempt to take my own life.
I missed my heart by 3mm and survived.
Tried to look death in the eye
But she turned her face away.
Tried to question all I knew
Left wrapped up here, in shame.
Where I poured my love
Now looks down on me in spite.
Made into a villain
When I tried to do what's right.
When will my eyes be opened?
When will reason take my hand?
Will I ever find the answers?
Will I ever understand?
Fumbling through this war-torn path,
Pushing past my will to try.
Searching, desperate for a cause
For all these tears I've cried.
Thrust down without a reason.
No drea
Prisoner of War!
Lost inside a nightmare
You’ve seen unbridled fear.
Violence unrepressed
And yet you’re standing here.
You’ve witness those you love
Leveled to the floor.
You’ve hid the cuts and bruises,
Wondered what you’re living for!
You’ve felt the pain that never heals,
The scars under your skin.
Your innocence a casualty
Surrendered for his sin.
So close your eyes and say a prayer
Bless the children lost!
One day you’ll find deliverance
From your private holocaust!
Look up to the morning sky
Remember who you are
Beautiful, unbroken
Prisoner of war!
Some of you are freed by courage,
Some are freed by death.
To Live
To live, now tell me what descript'
To calm the tremors of desire.
Without the fear of dark and sea,
Embracing, dancing with the fire.
For what will quell the rabid thought
That fights for gaze of sharpest eye?
And what, pray tell me, now may free
The panicked mob I feel inside?
See now, prey and predator
Within the frenzied unkempt mind.
Stirring, chasing, running still
I cannot flee, I cannot find.
For the master of her madness
Is servant to her will,
And none can tame the magic;
This violent, deadly thrill.
Dear, sweet, contemplative fool,
To live will never be serene.
There is no order to be had.
No written slate, there to wipe clean.
© 2016 - 2024 IsabeauAndreas
Comments1
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... You did it. Again.
Another good piece of writing. I really appreciate your poetic voice, the way you let it out.
Seems like I'll have to stay tuned, then... Well done!
Another good piece of writing. I really appreciate your poetic voice, the way you let it out.
Seems like I'll have to stay tuned, then... Well done!